Moving can be a real headache. How — and when — to move in retirement.

“Where you live and how you engage in where you live is one of the most important decisions of your life,” said Ryan Frederick, the author of the book “Right Place, Right Time: The Ultimate Guide to Choosing a Home for the Second Half of Life.” “It’s the foundation around making friends, being active, connecting with people. There are financial implications. The four walls where you live are important, but also your block, your neighborhood, your county, your region of the world matter.” 

The average adult moves 12 times over their lifetime, according to Frederick, who is also the founder and chief executive of consulting firm Here.

“If you’re a 55-year-old couple — you’re energized and thinking about longevity and the next chapter. If you’re 80 and have health conditions, a move can be traumatic, overwhelming and you’re less likely to think of the next chapter as positive,” Frederick said. “You have to ask yourself ‘Am I in the right place for the right stage I’m in?’”

Read: ‘I was meant to be here’: The pros and cons of a 55-and-over community

It’s important to think about a big move or relocation well before you need to do it.

“No one wakes up after 50 years and says ‘Honey, let’s move,’” Pickett said. “There’s usually an event or a reason. Moving is hard at any age, but at 75, 80 or 85 – it can send older adults into a tailspin,” Jennifer Pickett, co-executive director of the National Association of Senior and Specialty Move Managers. “Moving sucks. There’s nothing worse than packing and hauling boxes. It’s a lot at any age.”

There’s a name for the hell of moving — it’s called relocation stress and transition trauma, or transfer trauma. It can trigger symptoms such as anxiety, confusion, hopelessness, and loneliness, especially in older adults, according to the North American Nursing Diagnosis Association. It’s not a medical or mental health diagnosis.

Moving is so overwhelming that people tend to put it off. 

“A lot of people get stuck. It can feel overwhelming to choose where to move. It’s the paradox of choice — if you have too many choices, you don’t do anything,” Frederick said.

Read: How to make friends in retirement — and why it’s so important

But indecision can often lead to problems.

“The biggest mistake is waiting too long. The earlier you start planning, the better. We often get calls when people are in a crisis situation — ‘Mom has fallen’ — it’s harder and more stressful,” Pickett said.

In emergency situations, family members often scramble and may not be on the same page because there wasn’t a plan in place, said Robert Laura, founder of the Retirement Coaches Association. 

There’s no perfect time or age to move. But it’s crucial to do it before a crisis arises and you’re forced to make a knee-jerk reaction and move somewhere fast, Laura said.

Read: We’re retired and buying a $1.3 million townhouse. With everything going on in the world, is it too risky to make a move?

“It’s important to be proactive rather than reactive,” Laura said. “So often people retire and think they have 20 or 30 years to do whatever they want, when they want and suddenly they are thrown a curveball and realize they need a main floor primary bedroom, or want to be closer to a hospital or other facilities or need the help and support of family who live too far away.”

In the long run, being reactive can be more expensive and time-consuming — and even result in feelings of guilt or regret, Laura said.

The best way to investigate new locales is to visit during all four seasons, and especially during the off-season if it’s a vacation area, to see if you still like it. Rent a place and try living there for a short time.

“Practice, practice, practice,” said Laura. “Thanks to Airbnb and Vrbo, you can sample or practice move, downsize, or relocate. Get a sense of how you feel in a particular community or house, attend local events, and engage with an organization like a church or temple or volunteer organization to get a sense of how hard or easy it will be to adapt.”

Laura recommends trying out new locations for an extended period, such as a month or two, so you can get a better understanding of the place and whether you miss aspects of your original home.

Making the move

When tackling the actual move, consider hiring help such as a senior move manager who specializes in helping older adults relocate by assisting with anything from packing boxes to finding places to donate or auction items to shifting utilities over to a new home. The average move for a move manager is about 25 to 30 hours at a rate of about $60 to $80 an hour, Pickett said.

With any move, start small and start early, Pickett said.

“If you’re going to move at some point, even if it’s six or nine months off, start with a drawer or a room. If you have nine rooms, tackle one room a month,” Pickett said. 

Read: How to downsize your home without losing your mind

“We need to honor our elders and help them cope with how to part with possessions. You can’t downsize 48 years in 48 hours. Just take it gently. You’re dealing with people’s emotions and losses as much as you’re dealing with people’s possessions. Give it the time it deserves,” Pickett said. 

Even if you decide against moving, consider downsizing your living situation to make it cleaner, simpler, clutter-free and safer, Pickett said.

“A lot of people don’t want to move or can’t afford to move. But you can still downsize in your home — clearing out unused bedrooms, and making a functional assessment of the rooms you use. Are the rooms safe? Consider safety measures like no throw-rugs, switching door handles to levers. Make things easier to use,” Pickett said.

“In downsizing and moving, the move is the smallest part. Downsizing a life is the bulk of it,” Pickett said.